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I’m only a few weeks into finding out the truth about my husband’s Sex Addiction, so I’m still in the shock phase.
I met J a little over 2 years ago at a local hospital; he was a nurse and I was a volunteer on the weekends.
A few very close friends of mine know the story but a majority of people (such as my classmates) just have heard rumors that I’m getting a divorce.
I have had people even come up to me and make comments like, “I know how hard medical school is on relationships” and I just want to scream that it had NOTHING to do with me or med school.
I google searched 3 of them and they all came back as local “escorts.” I was shaking. I woke him up and confronted him, “Are you cheating on me? J swore (and let me say for the record, he SWORE on his dead mother’s grave) that he never had or was having an extra-marital affairs of any sort. I went online and went through his phone records…there was the proof.
I had taken screen shots of the emails, and stored them where he couldn’t delete them. He still denied it; someone must have broken into his account, it was SPAM, I heard every excuse in the book. At one point I stole his phone when he wasn’t looking and looked through his applications. At last 10 calls/texts just from December all to local “escorts.” I woke him up again and just said, “it’s over.” I then asked him if there was anything he wanted to say and all he could mutter was, “I have a problem…” I took a shower, drove to school (it was to be my first day back at med school after winter break) and I went to see a school counselor.
How could something so perfect be so horribly f*cked up?
I was a couple years out of an 8 year relationship and had finally gained all my confidence and independence back.
After all, this has been my lifelong dream and at 31, I’m not getting any younger. But the truth is he made me the happiest I’ve ever been. Looking back, I feel like there were little signs that should have been red flags: -I swear I saw him looking at personals on Craigslist but I didn’t say anything -He had no boundaries with people.
I asked J to be out (he is currently living at a hotel) and now I am managing a 3BR, 2 ba house by myself and I am also taking care of our pets. I asked J to tell me the truth and I asked how many, how long. He was constantly getting other girl’s phone numbers and adding them on Facebook.
But for some reason, the next morning I went into his email account.
I had NEVER done this before, but something in my gut was telling me that I was about to find something horrible. of searching through his sent emails to find various emails to people I didn’t recognize. He kept reassuring me that it was nothing and I should just drop it. But the next morning, I woke up early with the same feeling in my gut.